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A Definitive Guide To Going No Contact With A Fearful-Avoidant Ex
A guide on going no contact with a fearful-avoidant ex when you want to reconcile with minimal headaches and maximum efficiency.
If you’ve been in a relationship where your ex’s openness to intimacy and need for space persistently wigwagged like a pendulum, there’s a good chance they’re fearful-avoidant. And if you’re like most people, you’re probably worried that you’ll lose them forever by going no contact.
Well, fear not. Nine times out of ten, going no contact with a fearful-avoidant ex dramatically raises their attraction for you. In fact, the longer you are in no contact, the more likely they’ll think about you in general. And then that can progress to them missing you and eventually reaching out, from which point mending things becomes much more manageable.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start from the beginning.
Who Is A Fearful-Avoidant
The theory goes that everyone possesses one of four attachment styles, predominantly influenced by their childhood and upbringing:
- Anxious attachment, characterized by an excessive need for closeness and validation.
- Avoidant attachment, characterized by an excessive need for space and independence.
- Secure attachment, characterized by little to no excessive anxious or avoidant tendencies.
- Fearful-avoidant attachment, characterized by an excessive and shifting need for closeness and validation, as well as space and independence.
For an in-depth guide on all four attachment styles, read my article on attachment theory. For this article, however, I’ll mainly focus on fearful-avoidant attachment for relevancy’s sake. Let’s unpack it.
Fearful-avoidants have usually experienced a severely traumatic childhood. One where caregivers were continually unpredictable, sometimes being nurturing and responsive and at other times being unavailable or intrusive.
As a result of such childhood, fearful-avoidants might have moments where they seem deeply in love and receptive, only to suddenly withdraw and…
