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Do Hope For Your Ex’s Return (Just Don’t Expect It)

Max Jancar
2 min readMar 21, 2024

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As part of The Breakthrough Letter, every week I send out a short email with one idea, one suggestion, and one resource to help you break through your breakup and create a new possibility for love, either with your ex or someone new.

Here’s this week’s edition.

Today’s Idea:

There’s this myth floating around the ex-back space that you should let go of all hope of getting back together with your ex. Now I understand the logic behind this idea. In theory, losing hope in mending a relationship could make you behave more calmly and, therefore, more attractively.

However, just cutting hope’s life support is more or less psychologically impossible. We just aren’t wired to be able to do it. Therefore, I propose a, in my opinion, better alternative: keep your hope, just release any expectations tied around reconciliation.

Today’s Suggestion:

The next time you find yourself talking to yourself about how you expect re-attraction to go a certain, positive way, try rephrasing that self-talk to begin with, “I hope.”

For example, the next time you tell yourself, “I’ll get my ex back, I just need more time,” reframe that phrase into something like, “I hope I get my ex back. Maybe I just need more

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Max Jancar
Max Jancar

Written by Max Jancar

Author, blogger, and entrepreneur. I write self-help advice for people going through heartbreak. Get my free cheat sheets: https://maxjancar.com/cheat-sheets

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